Please, be strong!

Hello, this is about my relationship with him, the world ruler.

First it seemed that it was going to be perfect, illuminated and unlimited, without parallel and with no boundaries but, soon after, it all started to collapse and my family quickly understood that I didn’t quite see it thru in the beginning…

Our relationship rapidly started to escalate to a kind of passive-aggressive, bad communication and incestuously (we saw each other’s as brothers!) misleading direction. It’s very hard, you know, faithfully believing and lose trust from a week to another, sharing all of your most deeply secrets and letting him wander around all of your traffic and he, just starting to leave to the garden or to the garage (or even, and that shattered my heart, to my neighbour’s house…) with no apparent reason or explanation!

Could it be something related to his health? Could he had been going thru some technical difficulties or maybe a nervous breakdown? I resorted to all kinds of help, consulted the brightest specialists and given him wings to fly, letting him move around to all divisions of our house, wherever he felt best, nevertheless, our relation always went downwards…

I’m still with him though, never could get over him or find a better substitute but our connexion now, every time we affiliate, is like that moment on the plane (hope you never had or will have one) when the pilot says: “I’ve some good and bad news for all of you! The good ones, are that you will all be in television tonight…”

Isn’t easy, but up to today I still whisper to him, “Please be strong, I need you so much, my Wi-Fi signal!”

Zeca

Life loops!

Hi, how the fuck are you?

I’m writing in a different language because the loops I’m talking about affect everybody regardless of their nationality and I thought maybe, for once, someone in a distant country will relate to this…

No, its not of the philosophic sense of life loops I’m speaking, that shit is overrated and you all know that the turns of life will eventually kill you! I’m referring to some facts that occur over and over again in similar situations, looping your day, and you just don’t understand why, and sometimes, you wonder if it only happens to you…

For instance, have you ever went to the theatre and notice that the beautiful human being that has a terrible coughing problem that day, instead of going to the doctor, decided to attend the play?

And that other brilliant one that goes to the art gallery and decides to view all the same paintings as you, immediately in front of you, giving you that look - “sorry, we seem to have common interests and your timing is just wrong, stop moving as fast as me!”?

And that overeducated CEO that has to be constantly reachable, including on the phone, during that specially awesome aria you love the most at the opera house?

Can you relate with these three examples? Of course you can, but let me tell you: No! No! It doesn’t only happens to you! It happens to a lot of people, because I do it quite often!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bad person! It’s just that I hate stop attending to my weekend soccer game in order to comply with the exquisite social gathering of my wife!

And no, I’m not an overeducated CEO.

Zeca

Pró-Mona Lisa!

Porreiro pá, era ter sido marido da Mona Lisa!

Das duas, uma, ou a miúda sofria de alopecia (calvície) selectiva, visto só não possuir sobrancelhas e pestanas ou era uma “maluca da limpeza”!

Apesar do seu cabelo não ser propriamente frondoso, não acredito na primeira hipótese, até porque o Leonardo tinha atenção ao pormenor e se ela estivesse a ficar careca, por certo ele pintava um fino véu e o aspecto do seu cabelo era frágil e pouco robusto… A verdade é que no início do século dezasseis as gajas queriam tudo limpinho e a brilhar, até porque não haviam tratamentos adequados para as alergias e as únicas reuniões profissionais femininas eram noctívagas!

A Gioconda curtia era arrumar a casa, limpar as cenas, lavar as coisas! Eventualmente, um dia, devido ao ar sadio que se respirava na sua moradia e decepcionada pela falta de pó, verificando que o oxigénio à sua volta não transportava nenhum tipo de ácaros, decidiu, unilateralmente, tirar as pestanas e rapar as sobrancelhas! E perguntam vocês: Mas as sobrancelhas não servem fundamentalmente para impedir o suor e outras sujidades de escorrerem para os olhos, se ela limpava a fundo, tinha de transpirar?

Aí é que vocês se enganam! A Lisa limpava, esfregava, varria e lavava mas muito, muito, muito devagarinho, tipo as adolescentes actuais! Primeiro, porque tinha muito tempo disponível e pouco ou nada mais para fazer, depois, porque se verificarem a alvura e a graça divina das suas mãos (que emprestam uma harmonia melodiosa à obra do Da Vinci) verificam que a miúda era, de igual modo, extremamente cuidadosa no que diz respeito à sua higiene pessoal e aparência global, em oposição às adolescentes actuais!

Então? Então, o bacano do marido tinha sempre tudo a luzir e, pelo olhar maroto da pintada, não era só nos bens materiais caseiros!

Bem, mas elevando para um outro nível de seriedade a crítica artística aqui presente, sobre uma obra essencial, senão a principal do renascimento e da pintura com mestria, volto à expressão, das duas, uma:

Quando vamos ao Louvre, podemos apreciar o retrato, ou de uma doméstica inveterada ou de uma careca depravada!  De qualquer modo, no século XVI é que era, pá!

Zeca