Gone with the wind!

“Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!”

This last words are all I’ve heard for the past month, greetings from everybody that as realized that I’ve finally been a Father. How about that?

Anyway, along with “he’s so beautiful” and “he has your face” it’s been a “hat’s off” month… Nevertheless, I don’t understand why people, the dearest people, say this shit!

First, every new-born kid is as ugly as hell – all purple and wrinkled – as any new-born from any specie (even small felines are ugly as demons before they’re licked by their mothers… After that, it’s true that they stay beautiful for all eternity, but only two weeks later!) Second, how the fuck can anybody realize in the first weeks, with who does the child looks alike?

Still, the worst is the constant compliments surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, soon, with the first word or accomplishment I’ll be proud and happy as a female teenager in a shoes store, but without sleeping more than three hours straight in one month, the smell of putrefied milk all around, the arms destroyer - all day holding - and all the shit coming out of his ass, why would anyone find it reasonable to congratulate me?!? And I’m congratulated by fuckers who already had kids!!!

Luckily I have, mostly, very intelligent friends and relatives and they don’t show up frequently in this brain killing beginning as well as been helping me with any existential questions on how to deal with a brand new human being.

Sorry, I’m sorry for this roughest words, please find it in your fucking heart to forgive me, I truly believe in the stunning art of losing your common sense while being a parent!

And please, start replacing the “congratulations” for “here’s 200 Euros for diapers”, “I’ll be happy to stay all night with him”, “I’ll come and visit you when he’s one year old”, “He has the most delightful ear-piercing crying” and “you have my deepest sympathy”!

And this is it, life has you knew it, is wonderfully over! As the colic relief drops medicine reminds us: “…been specially formulated to relieve wind…” that wind of change that makes everything else disappear!

Zeca